FlaGay insights,oops i missed the letter:DMonday, May 21, 2007
Last Saturday, I was involved in the flag day charity drive to raise more funds for a hospital. It was my first flag day and I was rather nervous about it because of the numerous "FRIGHTENING" accounts that I heard. As in really frightening, BOO! The usual complains of exhausted legs, tiring hands and even swollen ankles (level 6 ultimate!) were discouraging to the soul, but I had to experience it for myself. After all, a man got to do what a man got to do. At the very least, I could console myself that I was contributing to the community, and helping the needy patients who could not afford their expensive treatment(unless it's another T.T Durai at their helm).
I started the day with high spirits, clearly affected by the infectious enthusiasm displayed by several of the volunteers. Ask Wei Chung if you don't know what I mean. Some of their smiles exhibited a strong sense of care and love for the unfortunate and it greatly inspired me to contribute my best to this charitable cause. My happiness was enhanced by the fact that the waiting time (for the charity can) was also very short, as apparently there was some shorter line for Hwa Chong students. Some comments of VIP privilege were mentioned, but I largely ignored them. It would be unfair to create a separate, special line just for us but we were not so naive as to believe such random piece of crap. (really no offence to others or their school that suggested this.)
The next task was to decide on the location to carry out our flag day. WC Niam, the conventional "auntie killer" immediately suggested Toa Payoh, no thanks to the high population of aunties shopping/living there. It was quickly agreed upon, as none of us (wc,ps,ck,niam and kg) inherited the evil fickle-minded gene, that recently became a notorious epidemic. With the location settled, we quickly boarded the MRT, and travelled to our destination.
My 4 other mates had a head start while I filled my stomach first. After finishing my breakfast, they already had quite a handful of coins in their cans. Beside, they were spread out quite efficiently and there was little space for me to join the party. WC Niam opted to camp outside the bank, hoping that passersby would be kind enough to donate their newly withdrawn fifty dollar notes. If ATM could give out coins, he would be the first to finish giving out his stickers. Wei Chung had the best spot, where the human traffic was the greatest. Chun Kang held a slightly less favourable position, but his "tooty smile" and never-say-die attitude more than compensated the drawback. Peng Sing was waiting under the bridge, but was unfortunately ks-ed by other over-enthusiastic students. The area was clearly saturated and at full employment, and thus I opted to walk several blocks away and situated myself near a library. It was a good decision because there were many avid book readers and muggers, who were happy to depart with their ten cent coins. It was also near to a bus stop and there was considerable human traffic.
At first, the result was discouraging. Holding the charity can was like carrying an infectious disease, with its symptoms clearly displayed all over my forehead. People started avoiding me, their pace quickening and several of them started displaying impressive qing gong abilities. Some chose to alter their direction, upon noticing me while others pretended to be engaged in an action. Initially, I was rather disappointed by their actions. In the end, it gave way to laughter because it was really a funny sight. One person was so focused on avoiding me, that she crashed into another fellow who was doing the exact same thing and I couldn't help but laugh at such a comical event. And then, it dawned on me that I had to exhibit a passionate attitude in order to convincingly persuade others to donate. I adopted a friendly and caring mentality in order to appeal to the kindness of the people. The warm greeting and numerous thanking reaped tremendous results.
There were boyfriends eager to impress their girls, displaying both their love and wealth. There were daddy and mummy eager to please their children. For every person that was keen to avoid me, there were other people willing to do their part for charity and this was really heartwarming.
Through this flag day, I also learnt a valuable lesson. There was this foreign worker who was trudging under the hot sun with large packets of spices and food. I did not approach him because he had his hands full, and it would be unlikely that he donate as it was rather inconvenient- this could be a result of my sub-conscious discrimination, since such a thought did not cross my mind. The next moment, he came to me, keen to know about the organisation which I was raising funds.
The conversation roughly went like this:
"Hello. What is this for?"
"Hi! Would you like to donate? This is for Ang Mo Kio Thye Hua Kwan Hospital, to help needy patients who cannot afford their expensive treatment, due to financial difficulties."
"Oh, I see." Without another thought, he whipped out a green dollar note and firmly slipped it into my charity can. "I would only donate to the organisation, where the unfortunate is really in need of my help. Otherwise, I would not donate my money."
"Thank you," I said with deep gratitude. My highest fund raising came in such a surprising twist and this event taught me that no matter who we are, we do have the capacity to display kindness and ultimately it all boils down to our personal choice. Even if we are just an ordinary person on the street, our actions can make us extraordinary. And this person was really exceptional.
The catch is that the money should be used to aid the needy unfortunate- and not spent on constructing some golden tap to produce "bling bling" water.
[comments: this blog entry is written with some witty humour. please don't take it as personal offence as the writer has no malicious intention. serious.]
cuál es amor: the dysfunctional relationship.Thursday, May 10, 2007
What does love mean?
I recall reading a research carried out by professionals who posed this difficult question to young children who were 6-8 years old. The rationale behind the decision to choose these young kids was because they were pure and innocent, along with their perceptions of love. They didn't go through the ups and downs of love, and thus their perceptions would be less biased or distorted by their own personal experience or exposure. The result was a variety of positive responses that reflected maturity and understanding. In other words, these children were very intelligent on the subject, in the sense that they weren't too perplexed by the complexity of the issue, and yet knowledgeable to grasp the essential concepts.
If you aren't convinced, then you will need to open your eyes widely to read these "touching words from the mouths of babes." Billy, at the age of 4, exclaimed, "When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth." When 7 year old Noelle was asked the menacing question, he confidently replied, "Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday." My own personal (stunning) observation from this research is that not everyone have the same perception of love;and this difference starts from a very young age. At times, these perceptions converge and the end result is an unforgettable experience of happiness and bliss. But, what about the times when these perceptions diverge terribly wide? We could have person A taking the meaning of love as kissing under the beautiful night stars,pouring out all our affection and care and hearing the phrase "I love you" for umpteen times And then person B views love as intimacy that needs no affirmation or (repeated) questioning, and places more faith on subtle actions than the tried-and-tested phrase. The outcome is person A questioning the committment of his counterpart, and person B being frustrated by endless questioning of his faith. Throw in a few thunderstorms and this love ship will sink to the bottom of the ocean (no pun intended.)
Another possibility that causes this dysfunctional relationship is our reference anxiety. There is this persistent strange habit to compare between things and we all hate such comparisons. Most parents love to compare the grades (and intelligence) of their child with other siblings/cousins/child of frens/whatever shit you name it. Most teachers like to compare our miserable results with other brilliant students. Think Kevin. And we all hate this comparison because it devalues the merits of an individual. And yet, people are drawn towards making such comparisons, no matter how they hate being compared. Reference anxiety applies to the realm of relationship as well. People love to compare and don't shy away from stating these comparisons truthfully. "Why can people wait for their love everyday, no matter rain or shine and you can't even spend a day with me? Do you really love me?" In the case of parents comparing grades or managers comparing performance, everyone hates being involved in such comparisons. In short, these comparisons create frictions in social relationships and future hazards whenever a quarrel heats up.
Of course, not all relationships are ultimately dysfunctional. In fact, a relationship is functional for most of the time because at the time that it turns dysfunctional, it will be soon be painfully severed or forgotten (and that doesn't constitute any positive relationship anymore.)
the truth about hollowsMonday, May 07, 2007
The Hollows in BLEACH fascinates me. Their blood-shot eyes and maniac looks, the hallmarks of a lunatic strike a familiar chord. I have witnessed them and certainly experienced such mindless frenzy before.
Every single one of us have a hollow living inside us, waiting for the right chance to strike at our consciousness, rationality and sanity. The only thing that differs from individual to individual is the strength of our hollow and its frequency of appearance. The strength of the hollow refers to its ability to distort our mind and its degree of control over our actions and thoughts. Its appearance, is often aggravated by the occurrence of certain events that disturb our mind. For instance, those cryptic voices that are whispering in your head could be the work of our own hollow and not the devils (as suggested by certain religious beliefs). This is also a plausible reason for split personality and other similar symptoms of different behaviour.
At a time when our hollow appears, everyone of us would have to make the difficult decision of either suppressing their influence (which is ultimately a heculean task) or risk submitting ourselves to this hollow.
